![\"forzalancer\"](\"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/forzalancer.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nIs it pronounced EE-vo or EH-vo? COMMENCE ARGUMENT!<\/em><\/p>\n Let\u2019s be honest: you may have bought Forza<\/i>, but you\u2019re really just biding your time until a next-gen rally game comes out.\u00a0 Look at that army of Subarus and Mitsubishis you\u2019ve amassed.\u00a0 Sure, you can talk all you like about how AWD makes for fast standing starts, but we know the truth: every time you see dirt on the other side of the rumble strips, some part of you wants to dive right into it and slide from corner to corner.\u00a0 You long to have an AI navigator calling out directions in rally shorthand as you ramp off dirt mounds and drift through puddles.\u00a0 Deep down, you really just want to get these high-resolution car models covered in mud, and that\u2019s OK.\u00a0 Just stop cutting every corner in sight, all right?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yo momma’s so dumb she bought a C63 AMG instead of an M3 sedan.<\/em><\/p>\n Your garage is filled with Ferraris, or maybe a bevy of BMWs.\u00a0 Perhaps you\u2019ve bought every version of the Nissan GT-R in existence.\u00a0 You\u2019re bringing in extra cash from affinity bonuses, but that\u2019s just icing on the cake as far as you\u2019re concerned.\u00a0 At the end of the day, you\u2019re in love with a particular manufacturer.\u00a0 Seeing that prancing horse, raging bull, or blue-and-white checkerboard circle thingy in the center of your steering wheel makes you all giddy inside.\u00a0 You get into heated forum debates about what company makes the best sport sedans or supercars, and you never back down from an argument.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter that your favorite cars are stupidly expensive or not suited to the track you\u2019re driving on, because that\u2019s not why you\u2019re here.\u00a0 To be fair, it makes sense.\u00a0 It\u2019s easier to buy a dozen Ferraris in Forza<\/i> than in real life.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Meet the old Boss, same as the… uh… old Boss.<\/em><\/p>\n This isn\u2019t a game to you: it\u2019s a virtual museum of automotive history, and you\u2019re in charge of selecting the best exhibits.\u00a0 Racing with you is like watching Antiques Roadshow<\/i>, but with a much better soundtrack.\u00a0 Your cars may have skinny tires, useless brakes, and terminal oversteer, but damn do they sound good.\u00a0 Or at least they would, if their engine notes weren\u2019t drowned out by your rants about the good old days of motoring and how modern cars have no soul.\u00a0 Your refusal to upgrade your cars (why mess with perfection?) won\u2019t win you many races, but as far as you\u2019re concerned, the moral victory is all yours.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Not sure if the Miata’s actually the best value in its class, but it’s pretty and I’m lazy.<\/em><\/p>\n At first glance, your virtual garage doesn\u2019t seem to hold any special patterns.\u00a0 Different brands, different vintages, different drivetrains, nothing seems the same.\u00a0 But a quick glance at your massive stockpile of credits reveals the truth: you\u2019re a bargain-hunter.\u00a0 You\u2019re not in this for style or history; all you care about is getting the highest allowable Performance Index for the least amount of credits.\u00a0 The other racers may call you a soulless bean counter, but as they struggle to scrape together the cash for that six-figure supercar, you\u2019re out setting fast lap times.\u00a0 After all, the leaderboards don\u2019t lie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What a bunch of suckers the other guys are.\u00a0 They shelled out hundreds of dollars for a new console just to argue about Drivatars (whatever those are!).\u00a0 Who cares if all your Forza 4<\/i> friends are slowly disappearing into the mysterious world of Xbox One?\u00a0 You saved a bunch of money, which means you can finally justify buying all those overpriced add-ons.\u00a0 They may have better graphics, better physics, and force feedback in their triggers, but you have eleventy billion cars.\u00a0 Eleventy billion low-res, last-gen cars.\u00a0 You\u2019re the smart one\u2026 right?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Forza Motorsport 5 has been out for a while now, and chances are you\u2019ve started to accumulate a decent stable of cars.\u00a0 So, what does your virtual garage say about your personality?\u00a0 Well, that depends a awful lot on what\u2019s in it.\u00a0 Are you a brand loyalist?\u00a0 A vintage collector?\u00a0 Maybe a stingy credit miser?\u00a0 [Read more…]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=478"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":486,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions\/486"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sharkpuppet.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Multiple cars from a single brand: The Loyalist<\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nVintage cars: The Curator<\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nThe cheapest car from every class: The Accountant<\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nNothing at all: The Xbox 360 Owner<\/h3>\n