Nov 112013
 

With the drivers’ and constructors’ championships long since decided, some of my fellow American Formula One fans may be looking for a way to add some excitement to the upcoming US Grand Prix in Austin.  If I may make a suggestion, why not have some fun at the expense of our favorite motor racing TV commentators?  The NBC Sports crew of Leigh Diffey, David Hobbs, Steve Matchett, and Will Buxton have been doing a great job all season, and their expertise has helped me convert many of my friends and family members into F1 fandom.  I respect and admire the work they do, which is why I’ve compiled a set of rules for using their on-air habits to get terrifically hammered.  So grab some friends, pour yourself a glass of beer or wine, and give it a shot this weekend.

 

Basic rules:

Only play the F1 On NBC Drinking Game if you’re legally allowed to consume alcohol.  Don’t attempt to drive a Formula One car, or any other vehicle, after playing the game.  Note that for the purposes of this game, a “drink” refers to a sip of your beverage of choice.

 

Take 1 drink every time:

-Leigh Diffey uses “fight,” “scrap,” or “battle” to describe two cars or teams in close competition for position.

-David Hobbs starts or ends a sentence by saying, “There’s no doubt about it.”

-Steve Matchett refers to a set of tires as being the “har-DER” or “sof-TER of the two compounds.”

-Will Buxton asks a rhetorical question while reporting from the pit lane.

 

Take 2 drinks every time:

-Leigh has to promote an NBC program that has nothing to do with motor racing.

-David refers to a driver as “poor old [insert name here].”

-Steve draws all over a slow motion or thermal camera shot with the telestrator.

-Will makes a reference to GP2, GP3, or another junior racing series.

 

Take 3 drinks every time:

-Leigh mentions a famous relative of one of the drivers.

-David points out that Nico Hulkenberg deserves to drive for a team with more resources.

-Steve comes up with a simple metaphor to describe an incredibly complex aerodynamic or mechanical concept.

-Will starts a video segment while standing next to an attractive woman.

 

Advanced rules:

-If Will’s microphone malfunctions during an interview, everyone must drink until either it’s fixed or the director gives up and has one of the studio hosts stall for time.

-If Steve appears in the studio wearing a tie that isn’t blue with a pattern on it, everyone must finish whatever they’re currently drinking to celebrate such a rare occasion.

-If the world feed shows a Caterham or Marussia that isn’t crashing, being lapped, or trying to set a fast time at the end of Q1, the drinking game is over and everyone wins.  (Except, of course, for the Caterham and Marussia drivers)

-Feel free to add and remove rules as you see fit.  Most importantly, sit back, relax, and enjoy some proper motor racing this Sunday afternoon.

 

Pit Box One is written by Paul Jensen. You can follow his thoughts on video games and motor racing on Twitter.